Category: Real Life

[Life] My Journal System

Pictured above are my current active journals / planners that I’ve been using for most of 2026. This does not include any sketch books, those I’m leaving out for the purpose of this post.

Started from the front bottom, that is a hobonichi weeks, which I am currently using as a media journal. When I watch a TV show, a movie, or read a book, it goes in here. I don’t usually get very specific, but I give some star ratings and keep track of what series I’m working my way through. I have a really bad memory, and that’s one of the main reasons I wanted to set this up. I actually love looking back through the months and seeing what I watched.

Behind that on the bottom is my Hobonichi 5-year diary. I just started that this year, so I’m on the very first year. I’ve managed to write every single day, because it’s small and simply paragraph sized. There is a blank page on the opposite side, and I’m going to turn this diary into a 10 year using those pages. Should be some interesting reading.

After that is the cover showing for my commonplace book. I don’t write in this one every day, it’s an encyclopedia of things that interest me. I have game notes, write ups about interesting articles I’ve read, things I want to remember later. This should be a multi-year book. I had one last year and it was way too small, and was filled.

Following that, I have my Hemlock and Oak planner, which I’ve just been using for a few weeks now. It has a vertical weekly calendar, with lots of space for tracking and notes. It does NOT have daily pages – important, I do not need daily pages.

After that is my hobonichi cousin which I bought and used for a few months, but I don’t feel like I was making good use of it because I did not want to use the daily pages. I’ve turned this book into a writing prompt book, so each day I answer some writing prompts, and I write a line from local news + world news.

Then is my reading journal, again not one I write in every day. I record statistics from StoryGraph, and books I’ve read, and how I found them.

After that the brown one on top is my ‘practice right handed writing’ journal. This one is brand new. I wanted to teach myself how to write with my right hand, for no other reason than – why not. There are only a few entries in here so far, I’m writing out The Count of Monte Cristo. It’s messy.

Finally, on the very top is my dream journal. This one is a few years old now, and when I have a dream that I remember, I write it out. I tend to have very vivid dreams that I remember nightly, so there are quite a few written out in here so far. I should also probably decorate the cover some time.

8 books is probably not the most I’ve ever had, but it can seem daunting, I know. Out of those, only 4 are used daily. I love using my fountain pens and having a reason to write in these books each day. I love looking back and seeing what happened, even if it wasn’t that great. I can see how I’ve grown, and how my family has changed. If you’ve ever wondered if I truly enjoy writing (even though this blog is now 20+ years old) well. There’s all the proof right there on my desk.

I also happen to be a very tactile person, which is why all of these journals and notebooks are physical and not digital. I’ve tried digital and it just doesn’t scratch that itch. I’ve been writing in notebooks and journals since I was 13, and I have a huge collection stashed away in bankers boxes. I hope to continue that for as long as I am able to.

[Life] Blaugust – and AI

This post might be a bit of a rambling mess, I’m trying to string a bunch of thoughts together and it’s hard for me to make sense of it all in my mind as it is,

I don’t know all of the ins and outs about the drama that’s going on re: Blaugust and AI. I’ve stayed out of it and away from it because it (the discord) always started to come across as a club where people were judged for their methods – and as much as I AM against AI (and don’t let this post fool you, I am not a fan of it in any way) I am even less of a fan of telling people what to do with their personal space on the internet – especially when it comes to a made up event that is supposed to be inspirational and motivational and boost people up, not tear them down.

I’m not OK with judging people for their use of AI in their own spaces. I do not think they need to be disqualified for a fictional event where no money or ‘prize’ is on the line except our own personal back pats. If someone writes something interesting it will get read, and if it’s not interesting, it won’t. If you want to take a personal stance against reading or not reading articles that are written by AI then I think that is absolutely viable and I fully respect that – but I do not think we need to focus on the negative and judge people. Maybe after making 5 AI written posts they give it a try and decide they love it, and then they continue writing themselves. Wouldn’t that be great? That will never happen if we just say “NO AI!” right at the gates. The community has already spoken and excluded those people.

What I’d like to see is people taking those perceived negatives and turning them into positives. Being supportive, educating, and being friendly to one another. Why am I against AI? Well that’s simple, I’m an artist and I think people deserve to be fairly compensated. I’m a fan of living on this planet, and I want the environment to prosper. These are my own personal views and morals and it would not be fair of me to judge others by those same views. Do I wish people did the right thing? Of course, absolutely – but at the end of the day, I am in charge of *me* doing the right thing, and that is it. So yes, I can be against the use of AI, and also against the idea of ‘banning’ people from participating if they use AI. We are not better or worse than one another. Blaugust is not a creative writing project. That might be one facet, it might be what it is for you – but it has been about inspiration, motivation, and community, more than anything else. I think it would be better to just leave it open to anyone who wants to participate, in whatever method they choose to participate, and then if YOU want to read their stuff, do it, and if you do not – then don’t. We need to pay more care and attention to what we are personally doing and less care and attention to what random Joe is doing. If anything, hold accountable the huge rich companies passing the buck around – and not your fellow down in the trenches, because that is not where the blame lays.

[Life] Yep. Another Belghast Post.

I slept like shit last night, partly because it was 46C and my house is 36C, partly because my rock support is across the country, and partly because I’m still in shock that Mark is gone. I thought I’d share a conversation me and Mark had last year, where we both admitted we admired one another, and both thought the other person “had it all together” when in fact, neither of us had it all together.

I’ve had many of these conversations over the years as I tried to apologize for my past immaturity. I fully admit that I was not a good person and it took some serious growing up on my part to become who I am now – and I am proud of myself for finally getting there, but I also have a lot of regret. Some friendships were beyond repair, and I had to learn to let go. Those are the ones that hurt the most, that I still think about from time to time.

Any way. I’m so thankful to have gotten to have these conversations with Mark but I’m also just filled with a whole lot of fucking sadness.

[Life] Rest in Peace, Mark

This post hurts, but if Mark taught me anything, it’s that we write through our pain. We talk about it. We share it with others, and through that, we form our community.

I had known Mark (AKA, Belghast) for … too many years and yet also just not enough. A really long time. Before I even had my own blog. He used to be in my EverQuest II guild – and I even wrote a post about him, accusing him of cheating at the game. We always had a really rocky weird friendship. I remember those days. I didn’t have kids, I was immature. I didn’t know about neurodivergence, I just knew that I had a hard time making and keeping friends. I always felt pretty alone, and I felt like I was constantly saying or doing the wrong things.

Mark helped me embrace that. No matter how many weird arguments or disagreements we had, I still counted him among ‘friends’. We would go silent for a bit, then pick up when we were playing a mutual game.

That mutual game this round was supposed to be EverQuest Legends. We had discussed getting a guild started so we could get some group activities going. Unfortunately that will not happen in quite the same capacity.

He died the same day as his wife, one year later. I choose to believe that it was some sort of sign from the universe that they’re together again. He spoke so fondly of her. In a time when I see so much sadness, struggle, and hurt – I choose to see this as some sort of fucked up silver lining. I have to, so I can move forward from this.

Everything is so raw and rough right now. I’m angry that the universe takes really good people while leaving behind … well.

It is what it is.

Happy 20th Blog Birthday

That’s right, I’ve been posting here for 20 years as of today. That’s almost half of my life (I’m 45) talking about video games and life. The address might have changed over time (this blog was originally called MmoQuests, if you’ve been around for that long) but things have stayed pretty steady, both in the games that I choose to play, and my hobbies and interests.

What has changed in that time?

Moved across the country. Worked for a real video game company (Carbine Studios). Got married. Worked for NCSoft. Had one kid. Moved to the middle of the country. Had another kid. Moved all the way to the other side of the country (with more moves in the far future). I’ve grown up. My ideas, thoughts, and what I hold precious to me has changed. I really like who I am as a person these days. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, even though it does NOT look like what I imagined for myself. That’s OK. I’m still learning to be flexible, and I’m still trying to figure some things out – but hopefully we’ll see me writing here for another 20.

Happy gaming – no matter where you find yourself.