This post hurts, but if Mark taught me anything, it’s that we write through our pain. We talk about it. We share it with others, and through that, we form our community.
I had known Mark (AKA, Belghast) for … too many years and yet also just not enough. A really long time. Before I even had my own blog. He used to be in my EverQuest II guild – and I even wrote a post about him, accusing him of cheating at the game. We always had a really rocky weird friendship. I remember those days. I didn’t have kids, I was immature. I didn’t know about neurodivergence, I just knew that I had a hard time making and keeping friends. I always felt pretty alone, and I felt like I was constantly saying or doing the wrong things.
Mark helped me embrace that. No matter how many weird arguments or disagreements we had, I still counted him among ‘friends’. We would go silent for a bit, then pick up when we were playing a mutual game.
That mutual game this round was supposed to be EverQuest Legends. We had discussed getting a guild started so we could get some group activities going. Unfortunately that will not happen in quite the same capacity.
He died the same day as his wife, one year later. I choose to believe that it was some sort of sign from the universe that they’re together again. He spoke so fondly of her. In a time when I see so much sadness, struggle, and hurt – I choose to see this as some sort of fucked up silver lining. I have to, so I can move forward from this.
Everything is so raw and rough right now. I’m angry that the universe takes really good people while leaving behind … well.
It is what it is.
A Pixel Nomad 